ODE TO BARNEY STINSON

-This is gonna be legen- wait for it, and I hope you’re not lactose-intolerant because the next word is -DAIRY!

-I penguin-suited up to show you the error of your ways

-You know what I love about Halloween? It’s the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. If a girl dresses up as a witch, she’s a slutty witch. If she’s a cat, she’s a slutty cat. If she’s a nurse…

-It’s your last day on Earth, Bro. Brocopalypse now. Bromaggedon.